Sunday, 15 June 2014


Being surround by people and still feeling lonely is probably the lowest you can ever hit.Which is why I decided to take a walk with my only "friend".

Small sips turned to swigs,and gravity was trying to get the better of me.Being the egotistical manic I am,I couldn't let it win,and so I kept walking.
Eventually,I had walked across to the other side of the beach,and decided to give my tired legs a rest.I gulped down of what remained and threw the bottle into the distant.

I gazed around,and I was surrounded by darkness.There was only the moon which lit the sky and the waves,crashing against the shore line.
Maybe since being born,never did I find so much tranquility around,as I did that moment.The silence combined with the high inhibition,got me introspecting my life,and where I had reached.

The pain,the suffering,the loneliness;I kept drowning myself into this self-indulgent pitiful hole I was digging.The more I thought about it,the more I kept falling deeper into the abyss.
I had come curiously close to the end,and as I looked back,I found it more comforting.I thought I'd find peace in that emptiness,and I kept walking towards it.
And the emptiness,it was calling me.

I don't remember what or how,but gravity had won,something which I couldn't bear.I lied down,fetal and weeping,looking at darkness.
As my dark moments kept growing deeper,I stared into the sky,as dark as what I was feeling.
There was a sudden light which hit me.The moon spoke to me.It told me a secret,in confidence.
"As full and bright as I am
This light is not my own andA million light reflections pass over me

Its source is bright and endless
She resuscitates the hopeless
Without her, we are lifeless satellites drifting"

I thought about all the pain and suffering and loneliness,and somehow,this time I could see a different side to it.I saw how my narcissism,my negativity,my cynicism was all but responsible for it.I thought about how many people I'd stepped on,to reach to the top.How my ego had always gotten the better of me,made me lose whom I wasn't supposed to.

I couldn't see myself feeding on the narcissism,of my self-indulgent pity I was creating,and I knew I had to get out.I didn't want to be the lifeless satellite,drifting away into oblivion.I knew I had to crucify my ego,before it was too late.I had to leave behind this place which was making me negative,blind and cynical.

I reached out for the light,in the hope that she'd lift me up,that she'd 
resuscitate me,before I pine away.

PS : This is just my interpretation of Tool's Reflection.