Friday, 14 October 2011

Dude,you spoke to a girl !

Girls,Girls,Girls .. Thats all we think about !
But,no matter what,when it comes to talking to a girl,we all are sissies !
Having the guts to approach a random chick and just say "Hi",and live to tell the tale,makes a you a God amongst your friends.

"Dude,you spoke to a girl !",is a ubiquitous sentence in a guy's life,but in each phase,it means a different thing altogther !

Phase 1 : The BlunderYears
This is the phase of a guy's life when he is surrounded by hot wheels and g.i.joes!
Girls are the last thing on a guy's mind,and the thought of being friends with one is way behind that.They are like our enemies !

And the day he is caught signing a peace treaty with one of them,all his friends will say is,"Dude,you spoke to A girl ?",emphasizing on the fact you've sinned,by betraying your own.

This probably the only phase in a guy's life where a girl approaches a guy,and the guy says,"No,thank you !"

Phase 2 : Teenage Years
Up and until 12 yrs and 364 day and 23 hrs,59 mins and 59 secs of age,a girl to a guy is what Microsoft is to Apple.But the moment the clock strikes 12,and he officially becomes a teen,he has an epiphany,and he goes,"What the hell was I thinking all this while?"

Everything has to be somehow related to a girl.Girl is the word for us."Hi,I am blah .. Will you Fransheep me ?".Though this time its the girls chance to say,"No,thank you !"
They just wont bloody talk with us !(Probably payback from the childhood)

And the day he says,"You know,that cutie from the next class .. Her bag touched me,so she turned around and said sorry,and I said okay its",he suddenly becomes a demigod !

"Dude,you spoke to A girl !",over here means he actually managed to do what all of the others just think of doing,talking to 'A' girl.

Phase 3 : Desperado Years
After years miserable failure,we become desperate for success.We dream about scoring the hottest babe in college,when in fact we are bonkers over the shy girl,on the first bench.We make up stories about how we spoke with her,how we are in the same classes(though she never notices you,and always hangs out with a senior),till the day you have a drink too many,and cry your heart out,and state the facts.Its the time when the wiser bud says,"Grow a pair dude,tell her how you feel.The other one is a bitch,don't screw your life over her !"

And the day you tell them you poured your heart out in front of her,they'll say,"Dude,you spoke to THE girl !",stressing on the fact that you managed to talk to 'THE' girl you wanted to talk to.

Phase 4 : Committed Years
Ah,the committed guy,a guy whose monthly phone bill is greater than his pocket money,whose weekends are defined by watching the crappiest of the romantic flicks(and still loving it),and visits to the coffee shop.Its a bliss when you aren't that guy(spare a thought for the poor guy,though).

Its time again for the wiser bud to step up and say,"What the fuck is wrong with you man ?You didn't come for the match,neither did you turn up the time we all went drinking",and all the poor guy can say is,"She wanted to shop,she had made plans already,sorry".
"Grow a pair,tell her to shop with her girl friends.You belong here,amongst the buds".

The few who manage to grow a pair,end up being single,and end up crying their hearts out yet again,over the same girl,in front of the same people,having the same drink,and all they get is "Dude,you spoke to the girl !"

Phase 5 : Denial Years(Applicable only for the ones who broke up in the previous phase)
"I hate girls,I'll never speak to one again,ever!",somehow makes its way into every second sentence uttered.This is the phase where the guy starts to listen to songs like,"Dust in the Wind",shaves once a month,doesn't give a shit of anybody,and doesn't even know what the hell is doing.
All he knows is he'll never speak to a girl again,and all he wants to do is drink with his buddies.And all his buddies can't help but think about the fact that he's more pain in the ass now than he was when he was committed.

This is until one fine day,a girl cutie will come up and ask,"Bhaiya,time kya hua ?" and all he can do is say,"Bahut accha",and the guy is back to his desperado phase.This time though,no wise guy tells him not to carry the shopping bags.

"Dude,you spoke to A girl !",emphasizing on the fact that,the same guy who used to recite the pharse,"I'll never speak to a girl,ever again",actually asked a girl out !

Phase 6 : Married Years
And so,the guy finally manages to settle down with the girl of his dreams.He has a wonderful life,everything is a Cinderella Story,and one fine day,an intern joins in the office,and the whole office drools over her.

He sits with his friends,talking about how others in the office make a desperate attempt to grab her attention(including himself,though he'll not mention that),and how he used to be so subtle back in his day.Everyone laughs it off,and tell him shes out of his league,even in his day.But the guy sees it as a challenge to his manhood,and one fine day calls her and with every iota of manhood on stake,he says,"Excuse me,whats the time?"

And just to cut some slack on the poor guy,they tell him,"Dude,you spoke to THAT girl !",stating that he still has it in him.

Wednesday, 5 October 2011

The Visionary

Its not often that you feel sadden by the demise of someone not related to you by blood.
Its not often that you wake up on a beautiful day,and feel sad.
Its not often that wherever you look,its the same news floating around.
Its times like these,that you know the world has lost a a great man,a visionary.Alas,today was one such day.

Jobs' life wasn't a fairy tale.He wasn't a child born with a silver spoon in his mouth,he earned it.He earned his life,the respect of all.That's what sets him apart.

He always believed in changing the status quo,and believe me did it.
It is this man's belief that computers can be a part of each house,that right now you own one.Hell,he even convinced IBM,who believed that computers were only meant for offices.And he even had the balls to "Welcome IBM" to the PC market,and make them believe what he believed in.
Jobs took what Xerox had,and took to a different level altogether.He believed in the success and he sure made it simpler for us.
It is the Mac-Windows war in the 80s that the computer has evolved to what it is now.Always trying to get the better out of each other,it was the consumers who always benefited.

He was driven out of the company he build,by the person he hired.But did that stop him?No !
He created NeXT,the roots of which are now used in OS X and iOS as well.
He changed the way movies were made,with Pixar.He pushed CGI to its limits.
All this while his brain child,Apple was going into drains.They had no other option but to call him back.And he didn't say no.Not only did he join,he brought the company back to where it belonged,with the iMac.
Years later,he revolutionized the personal audio industry with the iPod.He didn't "invent" it.He just took what existed and made it into something which was worthwhile.Thats the guys vision.

Soon after,Apple Inc. was back amongst the riches,all thanks to this man.But that didn't stop this guy.
He brought in the iPhone,which completely changed the way smartphones were made.Again,he didn't "invent" it.Smartphones existed,touchscreens existed,but,they never co-existed.He integrated all the great platforms into a one single device.Now,almost all smartphones are based on the same platform.
Again,we as consumers are benefited by this ever-growing competition.

He then took over the tablet world by storm,with the launch of iPad.Again,tablets did exist before the launch of iPad,but they truely came into being post the iPad.The iPad has come to a point where PC manufacturers fear it'll drive the PC market into oblivion.

And he didn't stop there.He kept making these devices more better and user-friendly.
Every WWDC,keynote was the event of the year,to understand what the future lies in store for us.
He IS the Da Vinci of technology.I can't imagine the world the world of technology without this man's brilliance.

He pushed the limits of his worker,too.He made them think,he made them work.He made them make his dream a reality.He was a leader.
Though he was often described as arrogant and petulant,at work as well as in personal life.Sure,he was.He did things which had no explanation.But then again,who doesn't? He is just like us,a human being,after all.What set him apart was the way he changed the world.

It was a sad day to see him step down as the CEO of Apple,for somewhere I felt no-one could think like he did,no-one could innovate like him.Still the fact that he was on the board of directors,gave a glimmer of hope.
The keynote a couple of days back was not the same without Jobs.I missed the man in the black turtle neck.I missed the guy telling me why I need to buy this product,why its better than the others.The same location where he revealed the iPod 10 years ago,wasn't the same without his presence.Something felt missing.

And today,to wake up to the news of his demise was really sad.Somewhere,the revolution in technology has also died,for his innovation and ideas is what propelled the market.Sure there,will be thinkers,but none like him.He will be missed.
Goodbye Mr.Jobs.Thanks for everything.You made the world a better place.You will always be one of the reason,geeks are the way they are.You will always be one of the reasons why I love technology so much.

I hope one day I'll join the legacy of 1 Infinite Loop.Bless me sir.

"Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do .. "