Friday, 14 October 2011

Dude,you spoke to a girl !

Girls,Girls,Girls .. Thats all we think about !
But,no matter what,when it comes to talking to a girl,we all are sissies !
Having the guts to approach a random chick and just say "Hi",and live to tell the tale,makes a you a God amongst your friends.

"Dude,you spoke to a girl !",is a ubiquitous sentence in a guy's life,but in each phase,it means a different thing altogther !

Phase 1 : The BlunderYears
This is the phase of a guy's life when he is surrounded by hot wheels and g.i.joes!
Girls are the last thing on a guy's mind,and the thought of being friends with one is way behind that.They are like our enemies !

And the day he is caught signing a peace treaty with one of them,all his friends will say is,"Dude,you spoke to A girl ?",emphasizing on the fact you've sinned,by betraying your own.

This probably the only phase in a guy's life where a girl approaches a guy,and the guy says,"No,thank you !"

Phase 2 : Teenage Years
Up and until 12 yrs and 364 day and 23 hrs,59 mins and 59 secs of age,a girl to a guy is what Microsoft is to Apple.But the moment the clock strikes 12,and he officially becomes a teen,he has an epiphany,and he goes,"What the hell was I thinking all this while?"

Everything has to be somehow related to a girl.Girl is the word for us."Hi,I am blah .. Will you Fransheep me ?".Though this time its the girls chance to say,"No,thank you !"
They just wont bloody talk with us !(Probably payback from the childhood)

And the day he says,"You know,that cutie from the next class .. Her bag touched me,so she turned around and said sorry,and I said okay its",he suddenly becomes a demigod !

"Dude,you spoke to A girl !",over here means he actually managed to do what all of the others just think of doing,talking to 'A' girl.

Phase 3 : Desperado Years
After years miserable failure,we become desperate for success.We dream about scoring the hottest babe in college,when in fact we are bonkers over the shy girl,on the first bench.We make up stories about how we spoke with her,how we are in the same classes(though she never notices you,and always hangs out with a senior),till the day you have a drink too many,and cry your heart out,and state the facts.Its the time when the wiser bud says,"Grow a pair dude,tell her how you feel.The other one is a bitch,don't screw your life over her !"

And the day you tell them you poured your heart out in front of her,they'll say,"Dude,you spoke to THE girl !",stressing on the fact that you managed to talk to 'THE' girl you wanted to talk to.

Phase 4 : Committed Years
Ah,the committed guy,a guy whose monthly phone bill is greater than his pocket money,whose weekends are defined by watching the crappiest of the romantic flicks(and still loving it),and visits to the coffee shop.Its a bliss when you aren't that guy(spare a thought for the poor guy,though).

Its time again for the wiser bud to step up and say,"What the fuck is wrong with you man ?You didn't come for the match,neither did you turn up the time we all went drinking",and all the poor guy can say is,"She wanted to shop,she had made plans already,sorry".
"Grow a pair,tell her to shop with her girl friends.You belong here,amongst the buds".

The few who manage to grow a pair,end up being single,and end up crying their hearts out yet again,over the same girl,in front of the same people,having the same drink,and all they get is "Dude,you spoke to the girl !"

Phase 5 : Denial Years(Applicable only for the ones who broke up in the previous phase)
"I hate girls,I'll never speak to one again,ever!",somehow makes its way into every second sentence uttered.This is the phase where the guy starts to listen to songs like,"Dust in the Wind",shaves once a month,doesn't give a shit of anybody,and doesn't even know what the hell is doing.
All he knows is he'll never speak to a girl again,and all he wants to do is drink with his buddies.And all his buddies can't help but think about the fact that he's more pain in the ass now than he was when he was committed.

This is until one fine day,a girl cutie will come up and ask,"Bhaiya,time kya hua ?" and all he can do is say,"Bahut accha",and the guy is back to his desperado phase.This time though,no wise guy tells him not to carry the shopping bags.

"Dude,you spoke to A girl !",emphasizing on the fact that,the same guy who used to recite the pharse,"I'll never speak to a girl,ever again",actually asked a girl out !

Phase 6 : Married Years
And so,the guy finally manages to settle down with the girl of his dreams.He has a wonderful life,everything is a Cinderella Story,and one fine day,an intern joins in the office,and the whole office drools over her.

He sits with his friends,talking about how others in the office make a desperate attempt to grab her attention(including himself,though he'll not mention that),and how he used to be so subtle back in his day.Everyone laughs it off,and tell him shes out of his league,even in his day.But the guy sees it as a challenge to his manhood,and one fine day calls her and with every iota of manhood on stake,he says,"Excuse me,whats the time?"

And just to cut some slack on the poor guy,they tell him,"Dude,you spoke to THAT girl !",stating that he still has it in him.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Pat on the back to you for actually voicing what most guy's have in their mind(maybe they need to grow a pair:D)...thoroughly entertaining post,its always fun to know the secrets of Mars-ians.
    Signing off with,Kya baat,kya baat,kya baat!!!

  3. Haha .. Thanks Anna ! :)

    Most of them know the consequences of growing a pair .. thats why they refrain from doing so :P

  4. nahhyce.. :)
    Though.. how come you haven't mentioned about the phase where men hit on other 'girls' even when they are committed?

    anyway.. really nice write up!

  5. lol .. shucks,forgot that !

    and thank you :)